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Saturday, February 24, 2007

Sexiness is a Warm Gun

A Ukrainian army recruitment video. Too good to resist.

Carry on reading...

Friday, February 23, 2007

Nothing Says Disapproving Prude.... the word "vulgar".

Carry on reading...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Lest We Forget...

I know I'm a bit behind on this, but it's easy to forget that Prince is a fucking genius. And has the devil's own member.

If you haven't already seen it, try and find his halftime show at Super Bowl. YouTube have taken it down, but it'll be about somewhere. Perhaps even here. Not that I would encourage that kind of thing.

Carry on reading...

Kingdom of Heaven - REDUX!

So I thought I'd give Ridley Scott's crusades epic Kingdom of Heaven another shot...

Daddy never loved me.

I'm a big fan of old-school epics. I'll happily while away half a day watching Ben Hur for the umpteenth time, or even merrily sit through fun tosh like Gladiator. I guess it comes from my teenage love of epic fantasy, where a book wasn't worth reading unless it cracked the 1000 page mark. And though I did learn my lesson there, I still have a soft spot for matinée epics.

Push, Judah! Puuuuush!

It's a given then that Kingdom of Heaven looked to be right up my street. I was dubious about Orlando Bloom, but everything else seemed in place on the talent front. Ridley Scott, Professional Mentor/Doomed to Die Guy Liam Neeson, wiry whiner David Thewlis, and even New Zealand's own Martin Csokas as a slimy Templar bastard.

I was wrong.

The movie was a real disappointment for me. It never really clicked. Never hit the epic feel it should have had. And frustratingly, whenever it was finding its feet some naff line or ridiculous story point would derail the whole show. And let it be said I'm quite tolerant of a bit of arch dialogue and the odd convenient plot device when it comes to these things, but this was just too much.

And Orlando Bloom sucked. Wooden, unconvincing, and all the presence of a mime in the dark.

Yes. I am terrifying.

So when I heard that Ridley Scott (who was apparently extremely unhappy with the final cut) was going to do a director's cut which would flesh out the characters and add scope to the story, and when I began to hear positive rumblings about how transformed the movie was by said cut, I was heartened. After all, a movie is made in the edit room, isn't it? That's what all those film books I read tell me.

Well, I guess there are limits.

Kingdom of Heaven: The Director's Cut is still rubbish. Very pretty (but it always was), and yes there are clearer motivations for the characters, but all the same ticks and leeches of disappointment are still sucking at the warm body of my epic film enjoyment.

And Orlando is still the same charisma void he always was.

I'm not. But I may as well be.

Sad to say it, but avoid. Again.

Carry on reading...

Sunday, February 18, 2007

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane

How cool is it to have this in my hands?

Slightly less cool, however, is the £1400 each Alex and I are gonna have to slap down later this month to pay for the damn thing. That's literally twice the price of my last trip back. Goddamn summer...

So in order to supplement this I'm currently up to my eyeballs in library book processing. See, we supply books to libraries, and those books need jackets and date labels and so on. And normally we get some kid or other in to do it, but I've gotta pay them bills, so I stepped up. My evenings at the moment, then, consist of finishing work, heading down the road to get a big coffee, and then heading back to work to:
Stick in security label
Stick barcode over security label
Stamp info grid onto sticker
Stick sticker into book
Copy barcode number into info grid
Stick in date label (actually, we're out of date labels at the moment..)
Apply classification sticker to spine
Apply sticky-back hard jacket, and trim to size
Repeat x 1000.

Rock'n'roll! Still, I'm pretty quick at it, so for me it becomes a reasonably high paying job. I get through 25-30 books/hour, which nets me an hourly rate of around £20.

Edge of your seat now, huh? Trust me, as unexciting as it is for you, it's a lot worse for me. The only bonus is that it's giving me the time to listen to a lot of Radio 6 shows, including Bruce Dickinson's rock show. Which oddly had Shihad's "Screwtop" on last week (for the Jazz Colman connection).

That's my life. Your mileage may vary.

Carry on reading...

Saturday, February 10, 2007

And You Knew Where You Were Then...

Carry on reading...

Friday, February 09, 2007

KAPOW! Comics aren't just for kids any more!

Because, as a mature adult, when I read about Lex Luthor beating up Steel, I want gritty realism. Like fecal matter leaking into someone's bloodstream.

What a pile of shit.

har har

Carry on reading...

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

What the World Needs Now... an alarm system that when triggered hisses "GET OUT!" in a demonic voice.

Andrew Salmond: making the world a better place, one Amityville Horror reference at a time.

Carry on reading...