Gore Watch! 23/03/07

You know the drill!


So, I must admit the offerings this week are pretty pale. Not that that's a bad thing of course, because if it were that would totally negate the point of what I was doing, and imply in some fashion that I gain a sort of perverse pleasure out of presenting this. As though I am in fact in some way amused and entertained by just how inappropriate this stuff is. Which of course I am not.

At all.

And, I'm happy to say, it would seem that the lack of gore in mainstream superhero comics over the last two weeks would indicate that my one man campaign against this terrible misappropriation of our youth's icons is having some effect. Marvel and DC editors are doubtless trembling in their cubicles, praying my finger of moral justice will not point next in their direction. They've seen their colleagues sent packing, careers ruined, lives destroyed, and all from my debut column alone. At this rate I'll be able to retire within the month!

Okay, on with the show...

52 #46

Yeesh...once again 52 lets me down. Maybe Geoff Johns went on holiday? Anyway, Black Adam's rampage comes to an end when he storms the Isle of Mad Scientists who brought about the death of his family. And how do they beat him? This is how:




(beat)






Well, I for one am disappointe========overjoyed with the restrained manner in which this was dealt with. Also, Pat Oliffe: what happened to you man? You used to be beautiful...

Flash: The Fastest Man Alive #10

Fastest at dropping readers maybe.

Meow!

Anyway, Solomon Grundy is feeling the love for a little FWAT action.


In theory that is, as Flash goes a bit CSI. Hey, may as well rip off something popular to get people interested!

Meow!

X-Factor #17

Here's a curious one. Despite this obviously red-blooded shooting:


And, in the following panel, a caption that mentions "brains leaking onto the sidewalk", they've gone for the black-blood approach: a classic comics method of getting around gore. Some restraint at least.


Sorta.

Amazing Spider-Man #539

You know Spidey! Happy-go-lucky Spidey, who gets on with things and does the best he can despite facing the kinds of problems we can all identity with and respond to. Money, relationships, work, school, hired assassins accidentally shooting your aunt in the belly and putting her in a coma which the doctors say she will almost certainly not pull out of. All the normal stuff. But wait! What's all-ages rated Spidey up to now?


I understand...sometimes I get so frustrated by assassins taking pot-shots at my family that I also slam my fist down on my hamburger, sending tomato sauce spraying everywhere! Oh, I feel so silly afterward!


Oh...err....

Actually, what I love the most about this is that the caption somehow implies that if his aunt wasn't lying in a coma due to a gun trafficked by this man, he would be happy that he had crushed the guy's hand beyond the point of rehabilitation. And even with May at death's door, maybe later once he's calmed down he might sit back with a brew and have a little secret smile:

"What are you smiling about?"
"Oh, nothing MJ...nothing..."

Funny, I never saw THAT on The Electric Company!

Oh, I should say that the art in this issue is superb. Ron Garney has really gotten his act together again lately, delivering on the promise he first showed back on his and Waid's initial Captain America run.

X-23 Target X #4

I've a couple of confessions to make about this next one. Firstly, it's actually not a bad read. The art is quite a nice clean-lined style, and the writing by the team of Kyle & Yost (who also write the highly entertaining New X-Men) is pretty good for what it is. Don't get me wrong, X-23 is a rubbish character (and more than a little ripped off from the latest Batgirl), but they do the best with what they're given. Secondly, like last week's Moon Knight, this is labelled "Parental Advisory".


You can see it, can't you? Plain as day. Right there above the bar code. In the world's most unreadable font.

Add to that the mainstream superhero-friendly artwork, and the character's relevance to Marvel's X-Men universe (including her role in the "New X-Men" title), and actually, now that you mention it, I feel totally justified in bringing this title to task. So let's do it!

Sensitive! (Head-clawed!)

Emotional! (Neck-clawed!)

Practical! (Kitchen Utensil-clawed!)

Acrobatic! (All Kindsa-clawed! Now with added Decapitation!)

I'll give artist Mike Choi this: he does great spattering blood trail.

And that's that for another week! Join us next week, when you'll hear Batman say:

"Get on your knees you fucking punk, or I'll blow your muthafucking brains out!"

xxx